In Sag Harbor, Colson Whitehead presents nostalgic vignettes of 15-year-old Benji spending the summer of 1985 in Sag, a historic African American enclave on Long Island, New York. Throughout the novel, Benji undergoes many personal firsts, including his first job and first memorable kiss. In the chapter “Breathing Tips of Great American Beatboxers,” Benji and his friends enter a club for the first time to watch UTFO (Untouchable Force Organization), a hip-hop group that embodies goofball personas, perseverance, and teenage striving, perform. Through his club experience, Benji discovers that he can truly enjoy himself when he feels no pressure to fit in.
When Clive, in “The Heyday of Dag” chapter, asks Benji, “‘Aren’t you hot in that shirt, man?’” Benji discovers that he is the only one wearing black at the beach and immediately wonders if “there was something to it” (Whitehead 70). By drawing attention to the way Benji conducts himself, such remarks have made him highly self-conscious in how he presents himself. However, while observing the other partygoers, Benji learns that the club offers freedom and anonymity. He reflects, “No one looked at me, I was one of them on the dance floor, and they were one of me” (Whitehead 262). Thus, in that space, shame becomes unimportant.
As the night continues, Benji gains confidence and begins to enjoy himself without fear of judgment. The music seems to “rewire” him emotionally, helping him let go of his insecurities (Whitehead 262). As he settles into the experience, Benji notices that everyone has gathered for the same purpose: to enjoy the music, dance, and feel connected. He appreciates that there are “no qualifiers” (Whitehead 263). Through this moment, Whitehead shows how the club becomes a free space where Benji can feel accepted without needing to prove anything.
When Clive, in “The Heyday of Dag” chapter, asks Benji, “‘Aren’t you hot in that shirt, man?’” Benji discovers that he is the only one wearing black at the beach and immediately wonders if “there was something to it” (Whitehead 70). By drawing attention to the way Benji conducts himself, such remarks have made him highly self-conscious in how he presents himself. However, while observing the other partygoers, Benji learns that the club offers freedom and anonymity. He reflects, “No one looked at me, I was one of them on the dance floor, and they were one of me” (Whitehead 262). Thus, in that space, shame becomes unimportant.
As the night continues, Benji gains confidence and begins to enjoy himself without fear of judgment. The music seems to “rewire” him emotionally, helping him let go of his insecurities (Whitehead 262). As he settles into the experience, Benji notices that everyone has gathered for the same purpose: to enjoy the music, dance, and feel connected. He appreciates that there are “no qualifiers” (Whitehead 263). Through this moment, Whitehead shows how the club becomes a free space where Benji can feel accepted without needing to prove anything.
Hello! I think it is really interesting how you compare Benji's confidence in himself around his friends, to that around strangers. The night at the club seems almost like a precursor to who Benji will later become as Ben, or maybe who he just wants to be: confident in his nerdiness and okay just being himself.
ReplyDeleteThe annonyminity of being in a new location and around people that you don't know is a key part of both Benji and people in general finding themselves. Benji without his friends is arguably a better version of himself and it was cool to see that development. Way to capture this!
ReplyDeleteHi. Nice Blog Post. I like the idea that the reason he can enjoy himself is the anonymity. There isn't many requirements to fit in, only here to enjoy the music and the club.
ReplyDeleteThe t-shirt issue is an interesting one to raise here: while Benji is made self-conscious once Clive points out the properties of light and heat that mean it's not a great idea to wear a black cotton-poly-blend t-shirt to the beach on a hot day, he is also wearing his Bauhaus shirt to be "cool," or at least to project this experimental new "punk" version of himself. (I would bet a significant sum that Benji was turned on to Bauhaus by Elena.) So in an odd way, he IS being more "himself" wearing this shirt that his friends make fun of than he is in his "preppy camouflage." But he is not trying to be COOL when he dresses for the UTFO show, and this seems significant. No one notices him either way--they wouldn't be staring at him if he had worn his Flipper shirt, and he may well have gotten in to the club anyway. But it maybe is significant that while he initially feels acutely self-conscious in his preppy gear, he ultimately feels relief when he realizes no one cares what he's wearing either way. Surrounded by these "freakazoids" at the club, he won't stand out anyway.
ReplyDeleteHi Kaylee!! I really enjoyed reading your blog. This is a really interesting topic to analyze. I completely agree with you that when he's in that big concert setting where everyone just does and wears what they want, he can feel more relaxed than when he is with his friends. I think this topic can also be his "coming of age" moment because he is starting to realize that he just needs to relax and be himself, and not let other people's opinions sort of shelter him. Good Job!!!
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